[rfc-i] Fwd: New Version Notification for draft-iab-ise-model-00.txt

Dave CROCKER dhc at dcrocker.net
Mon Oct 17 13:27:31 PDT 2011


> Abstract
>    This document describes the function and responsibilities of the RFC
>    Independent Stream Editor (ISE).  The Independent Stream is one of
>    the Stream Producers, with the ISE as its Stream Approver.  The ISE

Stream Produces that create draft RFCs, with the...

{this lets the sentence stand on it own, without the reader's having to know 
much or anything about the lingo now in use about RFC process and structure, 
except "RFC". /d }

>    is overall responsible for activities within the Independent Stream,
>    working with draft editors and reviewers, and interacts with the RFC
>    Production Centre and Publisher, and the RFC Series Editor.  The ISE
>    is appointed by the IAB, and also interacts with the IETF
>    Administrative Oversight Committee (IAOC).

> 1.  Introduction
>    The Independent Submissions Editor roles and responsibilities were
>    documented in "RFC Editor Model (version 1)" [RFC5620].  In the light
>    of experience, we see that having it there gave rise to some
>    confusion as to where and how the ISE fits into the RFC Editor model.
>    To reduce that confusion, the ISE material has been moved into this
>    document.

I suggest less reference to document history and more to structure, role and 
function.  The fact of confusion is relevant for a brief time, with the 
document's main content being relevant far beyond.

So, for example:

The RFC Editor Model [RFC5620] defines a set of Streams that produce draft RFCs, 
which are submitted for publication.  This document defines the management 
function for the Independent Stream, specifically the role of Independent Stream 
Editor.   (This document derives from a section of RFC5620.)

> 2.  Independent Submission Editor
>    The Independent Submission Editor (ISE) is the head of the
>    Independent Submission Stream of RFCs, as defined by [RFC4844].  The
>    Independent Stream and the Independent Submission Editor are not
>    under the authority or direction of the RSE.  As noted below, the ISE
>    is appointed by and is responsible directly to the IAB.

The second sentence, as a negative, looks quite strange on its own and without 
the context of confusion that we've had.


    As for all RFC Streams Editors, their accountability is to the body that 
appoints them.

{{Note that this then flows nicely into the next sentence. /d }}

> 2.1.  Qualifications
>    The Independent Submission Editor is a senior position for which the
>    following qualifications are desired:
>    1.  Technical competence, i.e., broad technical experience and
>        perspective across the whole range of Internet technologies and
>        applications, and specifically, the ability to work effectively
>        with portions of that spectrum in which no personal expertise
>        exists.

the whole range -> a wide range

{{ few of us touch the whole range... /d }}

, and specifically, the -> , but also the

{{ the earlier text here talks about 'experience' whereas the latter text talks 
about going /beyond/ experience. /d }}

in which no personal expertise exists -> they have no direct expertise

{{ While there certainly are topics for which no one anywhere has any personal 
expertise, I assume you really mean the /candidate/ doesn't have the expertise? 
/d }}

>    2.  Thorough familiarity with the RFC series.
>    3.  An ability to define and constitute advisory and document review
>        arrangements.  If those arrangements include an Editorial Board
>        similar to the current one or some equivalent arrangement, assess

assess -> the ability to assess

>        the technical competence of potential Editorial Board members
>        (see Section 3)
>    4.  Good standing in the technical community, in and beyond the IETF.
>    5.  Demonstrated editorial skills, good command of the English
>        language, and demonstrated history of being able to work
>        effectively with technical documents and materials created by
>        others.
>    6.  The ability to work effectively in a multi-actor environment with
>        divided authority and responsibility similar to that described in
>        [I-D.iab-rfc-editor-model-v2].

> Brownlee (Ed.) & IAB     Expires April 14, 2012                 [Page 3]
> Internet-Draft     Independent Submission Editor Model      October 2011
> 2.2.  Responsibilities
>    The Independent Submission Editor is an individual who may have
>    assistants and who is responsible for:
>    1.  Maintaining technical quality of the Independent Submission
>        stream.
>    2.  Reviewing, approving, and processing Independent Submissions.
>    3.  Forwarding draft RFCs in the Independent Submission Stream to the
>        RFC Production Center.
>    4.  Defining and developing the scope of the Independent Submission
>        stream.
>    5.  Reviewing and approving Independent Submissions RFC errata.
>    6.  Coordinating work and conforming to general RFC Series policies
>        as specified by the IAB and RSE.
>    7.  Providing statistics and documentation as requested by the RSE
>        and/or IAOC.
>    The Independent Submission Editor may seek support from an advisory

may seek -> may create and seek

{{ drop the 'may form' clause.  /d }}

{{ perhaps make the advisory board sentence a #8.  At the least, "The individual 
with..." is clearly an independent sentence. /d }}

>    board (see [RFC4846]) and may form a team to perform the activities
>    needed to fulfill their responsibilities.  The individual with the
>    listed qualifications will be selected by the IAB after input is
>    collected from the community.  An approach similar to the one used by
>    the IAB to select an IAOC member every other year as described in
>    [RFC4333] should be used.  While the ISE itself is considered a
>    volunteer function, the IAB considers maintaining the Independent
>    Submission stream part of the IAB's supported activities, and that
>    the IAOC should include these costs in the IASA budget.
> 3.  Independent Submission Stream Editorial Board
>    The Independent Submission Editor is supported by an Editorial Board
>    for the review of Independent Submission stream documents.  This
>    board is known as the Independent Submission Stream Editorial Board.
>    This volunteer Editorial Board exists at the pleasure of the ISE, and
>    its members serve at the pleasure of the ISE.  The existence of this
>    board is simply noted within this model, and additional discussion of
>    such is considered out of scope of this document.

{{ What is the relationship between the cited 'advisory' board and the cited 
'editorial' board?  This needs to be clarified.  /d }}



   Dave Crocker
   Brandenburg InternetWorking

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