[rfc-i] I-D Action:draft-iab-streams-headers-boilerplates-00.txt

Brian E Carpenter brian.e.carpenter at gmail.com
Mon Jul 7 19:52:12 PDT 2008


Thanks for this.

A few comments, all small or nit-sized:

> 1.  Introduction
> 
>    RFCs published before this document (e.g. the one immeditatly prior
>    to this one [RFCXXXX-1]) (??? or is it prior to approval of this
>    document?) 

Try "prior to approval and publication".

>       The <document source> is the name of the RFC stream, as defined in
>       [RFC4844] and its successors.  At the time of this publication,
>       the streams, and therefore the possible entries are:
> 
>       *  IETF Stream
> 
>       *  IAB Stream
> 
>       *  IRTF Stream
> 
>       *  Independent Stream

I'm not quite sure what the word 'stream' adds here. Why not just
omit it?

>                                       This document introduces the new
>       relation "Clarifies" which can be used when a new RFC updates a
>       previous RFC without making any normative changes.

Note that this requires a specific change to XML2RFC, and no doubt
to other tools.

>    Going forward, 

I have the impression that this is geekspeak and that it would be better
for an international audience to write "From now on," (2 occurrences).

>    IETF Stream:  "This document is a product of the Internet Engineering
>       Task Force (IETF).  Per the IETF's specification process, this
>       document represents a consensus of the IETF community. 

I'd delete "Per the IETF's specification process". I don't think it
adds any information for the reader.

>                                            This document has been
>       approved for publication by the IAB and is therefore not a
>       candidate for any level of Internet Standard, see section
>       Section 2 of RFCXXXX."

That comma should definitely be a semi-colon (3 occurrences).

    Brian








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